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i posted a new song of the week today, i'll fly away from the o brother where art thou soundtrack. i'm doing this because today is the anniversary of my mema's passing, and this was probably one of the few modern movies that she really enjoyed. it was mostly because of the music, which is what she grew up with. my mom and aunts even chose to have this song played at her funeral because she liked it so much. and it fit so well.
i've been playing this cd in my car on and off over the past year. sometimes i can sing along, and other times i cry. this song reminds me of the fact that we will see her again in heaven, and we won't have any more sadness. but i know today will be a hard day for my mom, my aunts, my sister, my cousins, other relatives, and of course myself.
i don't know if i will ever get over regretting not spending more time with her in her last days. if i could go back in time, i would have seen her every day. i was discussing it with a friend yesterday who is also very close to her grandparents. i feel selfish because all of this happened in the 2 months around when mike and i got married, so we were still supposed to be in our honeymoon phase. my friend told me that mema would have wanted us to be happy and enjoy being newlyweds, and that she probably understands why i wasn't there. it did make me feel some comfort, because mema was so un-selfish like that with me. but today i will be sad, along with my family; so i hope we can all listen to this song and cry but know that mema is in a better place waiting for us to be together again.
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