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Tuesday, June 17, 2003

one month of wedded bliss 

today marks one month of marriage for me and m. it has been absolutely wonderful. people keep asking me if marriage has made me feel different, but i can't really say that it has. there have definitely been changes in my life since the wedding, but i don't feel that *i* have changed. i think that if you're in a committed relationship that has reached the stage where you're going to get married, then your "self" is probably already in a married state of mind. and if it's not, then maybe you're not ready for marriage.

there are definitely changes to your lifestyle after marriage though. some take a while to get used to, and others are just exceptionally good. i'll highlight some of the differences i've observed in the past month.

changes that take a while to get used to
* my new name - the name change process is pretty time-consuming, especially since i have student loans, credit cards, etc. it's taking a much longer time to change my name at work than i expected. and it will take an even longer time for everyone that i have to deal with in the working world to figure out that i have a new name. we also have to sign our names around here a lot (in logbooks, notebooks, training sheets, etc.), so i really have to think hard about writing "richardson" instead of "phillips".
* sharing an income - i've lived on my own since i was 19, so household and personal care expenses have come out of my own pocket for a long time. even though i have more money after marriage, i feel like i can spend less freely, even on every-day necessities, because it's now "our money". we did a rough budget before the wedding, and i will feel more comfortable after we fine-tune it.

changes that make me feel good
* new terminology - every time i get to refer to m as "my husband", i feel all warm and fuzzy. it's like the word stokes the fire of our relationship. i almost pause after every time i say it just to revel in my happiness. i get to think about the best parts of our relationship to date and also dream about our life together in the future. it's definitely one of the top "perks" of being married.
* being part of a larger family - now don't get me wrong, i don't think that my family was small to start with, but i have enjoyed belonging to an even larger family unit. while it may mean that holidays are a more hectic, m likes the fact that i am so close with my family, and i am equally as pleased with m's relationship with his. in-laws are often the subject of complaints and jokes; i feel especially blessed because i've not only married my soulmate, but i've married into a family that has made me feel comfortable from day one.

so, even though the wedding and the honeymoon are over, i'm still excited about the outcome of may 17, 2003. i'm enjoying establishing our home, loving going to sleep every night in the arms of my husband, and looking forward to the rest of our life together.


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