:: off on the wrong foot ::
...some kind of awkward journey

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Tuesday, August 14, 2001

a few days of catching up . . .

. . . the interviews went well. there are actually two positions open. i'm sure to get one of them. i'm pretty happy about that. now i have to decide whether i want to go to graduate school next year, or wait one more year to apply. i really want to be back in school, but i really don't want to do it right now. i just don't want to wait too long and end up stuck for the rest of my life. . .

. . . what does it mean when people say you're doing a good job, but you don't believe them? is the desire to always be better unhealthy? everyone here says they've heard good things about me, and that i've been doing a great job, but i don't feel like i've shown them even half of what i'm capable of. am i really a perfectionist, or are today's standards just so low that average performance is really extraordinary?. . .

. . . okay, i feel like a pig. or at least i did last night. my neighbor, julie, and i went to the grocery store. i bought so much sugar-filled food. two pints of edy's dreamery ice cream, peanut butter cookie mix, and a cheesecake-swirl brownie mix. it's no wonder that all i felt like eating for lunch today was a salad. no wait, that was the bad food in our cafeteria. . .

. . . i think that's all for now.


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