:: off on the wrong foot ::
...some kind of awkward journey

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Friday, December 29, 2000

yes, i have been slacking. but my brain has been all twisted up this week, and i haven't been able to figure out what i wanted/needed to write. i'm in this mid-holiday/winter time sort of funk. and that doesn't factor in too well when thinking about big life decisions. where is that magic 8 ball again?

i'm feeling like a solitary woman. i've lived alone for almost a year now. at first it was weird. i thought i'd go crazy some times if i didn't talk to someone right at that moment. i'd call everyone that i knew, hoping to reach someone for even a five minute conversation. when i started getting used to being on my own, it felt weird to have anyone come over to my apartment. i'd get really uncomfortable, having someone else in "my space". living alone has definitely strengthened my need for my personal space. but everything has balanced out, finally. i don't get the urge to call people just to hear another voice, and i don't feel threatened when i have visitors. but i definitely need a good amount of "me" time.

i love my friends, and i love seeing them, but i'm so very happy doing my own thing most of the time. when you live alone, going out for one night makes things seem even more special.

i'm not sure where this rambling leaves me. hopefully this weekend i can draw some conclusions. happy new year, everybody!


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