:: off on the wrong foot ::
...some kind of awkward journey

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Thursday, December 14, 2000

this must be the week of movies. here's another one that looks cool. plus the sites for movies just keep getting better and better. this one lets you edit your own trailer. you're supposed to be able to mail it to a friend too, but that seems to take quite a while.

so today is the last day. i feel almost as if i'm losing part of an identity, or just putting it to rest for a while. even though i've had a steady job in "the real world" while being in school, i've always listed my occupation as "student" on questionnaires. while i know that i'll always be a "student of life", i can't technically call myself a student anymore. it's weird.

another thing . . . i guess for the past few years i've had a "school face" that i put on for professors, classmates, etc. i learned a while ago that being different doesn't gain you favor with teachers, at least in my field. so i learned to present myself in a way that was more palatable to them. i haven't pretended to be something that i'm not, but i've just suppressed some of my natural eccentricities. it's helped to make friends with other students in the department too - very helpful when you need to study.

i think all throughout life we choose to put forward one face or another, depending upon the situation. as long as we're not being deceitful about it, it's not a bad thing. sometimes it's just necessary to make the ride a little smoother. but i think the creation and maintenance of each face affects the others. so i'm just wondering how losing my "student face" will affect the rest. i guess i'll just have to wait and see. ++

<~band of the moment - euphone~>


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